I've learned a few things already today. Well, I suppose I've been learning them as I go, but I put them into coherent thoughts today.
1) It's much much easier to take care of myself and my house when CW is gone for 24 hours. Any more than that, and I'm lonely and miss him. But that amount of time is just enough for me to be busy doing things like cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry.
AG told me we're in the honeymoon phase, where, when we're together, it's a great big party. I feel like we've been in that phase since I moved into CW's apartment with MC the Sailor (and MC the Artist): lots of pizza and beer, staying up too late, not taking care of things on a regular basis like dishes. Party time. She said that goes away eventually and to enjoy it. But it's kind of nice to not party all the time and get shit done. I suppose its a testament to how big a fan of CW I am that I can't tear myself away?
Don't tell him that, it'll go to his head.
2) I should have spent less time in college worrying about getting laid, getting drunk, and getting along with friends/being cool and wallowed in my own wonderful nerdiness. I got to spend four years doing nothing but reading, writing and learning, but instead of enjoying that process, it stressed me out so I, ahem, partied.
Is there a theme here?
I have a rule about regrets: don't have them. I don't want to regret how I spent my college years - I made those choices and I had a pretty awesome time. MC the Artist can attest. Instead, I'll blame Society - 18 is way too fucking young to go to college, ok guys? I'm a pretty hard core nerd, and pretty self-sufficient and hardworking, but I was too young to focus on learning or know what the hell I was doing.
3) I need to apply my philosophy about regrets to being angry. Being angry, often, is a waste of time and energy and ruins my day. Sometimes its ok to be angry, like when my government tramples on my rights as an individual or other governments treat people poorly, unfairly, or kill them. Etc.
But you know what? It's really really not worth it to get as mad as I do about other things. Like people I work with, or bad drivers, or trash that needs to be taken out. No big deal man, let it go.
Meditation might be the answer here - take five minutes every day at lunch to sit still and relax.
It also helps when I wake up early and give myself time in the morning. I'm in a much better mood after drinking a cup of tea and catching up on Twitter than rolling out of bed and running out the door.
So CW, we really need to cut back on morning snuggle time. Maybe the take-out pizza too, to reduce the pug. But probably not the beer, ok? I still have some party left in me.